Choices
by SnowingTiva
Summary: One night of weakness between Ziva and her partner has made her conflicted between her feelings for him and her feelings for her boyfried. When the lies get too much for her she has to choose. Her partner or boyfriend. But who knew it would be this hard.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I should be updating my other stories, but I have one that is almost finished and I want to get this one started before it finishes, so here it is. **

**This is very different to what I usually write, and I'm not sure whether to leave it rated T or have it rated M because I think I might be on that fine line lying between both. Its not by all means explict but does have intended nudity and a few other things in it. If you think the rating should be raised, please tell me and I will do so.**

**For the record; I don't think that she would ever do this. This is my imagination working with three single words...**

**I hope you enjoy and it will depend on 1) the response or 2) when I get the next chapter finished for when I update next.**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

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><p>It was dusk and she didn't usually go for a walk at night, but she got off work early and it was a nice day. Ziva David walked down the eerily quiet footpath alone, which given the warm weather was strange. The scene surrounding her was a symbol of what was to come; the silence before the storm.<p>

In her line of work, in the entirety of her life she was surrounded by people, but she knew what was to come she was going to have to do alone; and one way or another she was going to hurt one of them, she couldn't go on pretending like nothing was wrong, when in fact everything was wrong. There was no way to get around it; it was eating her from the inside out.

She sat on a park bench under a street lamp; she needed to asses her situation. Like when she was on mission, look at what needs to change and do every thing to change it. Ziva sighed dramatically - frustrated with no one else other than herself. It was sad that she was going back to her old Mossad ways of dealing with things. It was not how she was going to deal with this.

She had to choose. Choose between her boyfriend and her lover. The only problem was; her boyfriend was... well, her boyfriend. Her lover was one of her best friends and he was everything she had put to be the kind of person she would never be with - the 'playboy'. He knew that she was with her boyfriend. Ziva also knew that he wasn't entirely responsible for where she had found herself in the past two months.

She was constantly feeling guilty and she knew that her boyfriend knew something was up, he could tell she was lying and that made her feel even more guilty. She had no idea on how to get herself out of this. She had been trained for every situation possible except for this one.

What she was doing was adultery, she was cheating on her boyfriend and she didn't feel guilty while she was doing it, it was after when she was with him. When she was with her lover, no one else existed - just him and her.

She could still remember that one night when everything changed...

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><p>Two months earlier...<p>

It had been a long day; Ziva had worked undercover to get the man who was killing Marine's daughters. Each was no younger than twenty five. Being the youngest and the only girl on the team made the choice for Gibbs easy. When they found him, the man had approached Ziva and had begun talking to her. Ziva played along as he led her to a side street. When he had worked out what was happening, that she was a cop, he held her at gunpoint. She had no way of communication; she had no way to defend herself she didn't know where the team was. They got there in a nick of time; Gibbs took the shot before the man could. But it still shook her.

Ziva put her face in her hands for what had to be the third time in one minute. Tony looked over to her, "Are you okay?" He asked as he watched her drag her hand down her face.

"Fine," she replied, looking back over at her screen and furiously hitting the keys as her fingers type words that when read made no sense.

"Ziva, why don't you go home and finish this in the morning? You've had a long day and you need to sleep," Tony told her.

"So do you," She replied, not looking away from her computer screen.

"Okay... New topic. How are things with you and Ray?" He asked. This was a daily occurrence. Ziva knew that he wouldn't admit it but she knew that he was jealous, the more she thought about it over the years the more she realised that it might just be protection. She couldn't blame him, after loosing his mother and then his partner in different ways, but still, he didn't want to loose her now. He just might not have exactly realised that there is a difference between protection and over protective.

"Fine, nothing is wrong between us, everything is just perfect," Ziva said.

"Are you going home to him tonight?" Tony then asked.

"No, he is away on business," She replied.

"How long a time does he go away?" Tony said dropping the jealously in his voice and swapping it with care.

"A few days, a few weeks, to a few months. It depends on what he is doing," Ziva explained.

"How long has it been since you've seen him?"

"A few weeks," Ziva said. They slipped back into the silence that was only filled with the sound of the clicking of keys as the only two people left in the building finished off their case reports. After another hour of getting nothing written, Ziva abruptly stood from her desk and mumbled something about coffee.

Tony sat at his desk and stopped what he was doing. He had been finished for an hour and a half, but he could see that Ziva was having trouble keeping it together, he wanted to makes sure she was really okay before leaving her alone, he wanted to see it with his own eyes rather hearing it from her words from her mouth. He stopped doing the report that was due the next night and walked over to her desk. Once there he looked at her unlocked computer screen. In the past three hours she had only written just over a hundred words. She wasn't as long as he thought she would be he heard the ding of the elevator and he quickly walked over to Gibbs' desk picking up the folder he put there earlier and putting it down again as she walked around with two Styrofoam cups of coffee. She put one down on her desk and the other on his before throwing the cardboard tray in the recycle bin.

"Are you finished?" She asked.

"No, I just needed to re-read something I finished before," He replied.

She sat back down in her seat and began typing before hitting the backspace button and starting over.

"Ziva, talking about it might make you feel better," Tony stated.

"I don't think so," She replied.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Tony, how may time have you been held at gun point and then not gone to a bar to get laid?" she asked.

"Never," he said.

"Well, tonight I need my boyfriend's comfort and he is not here. I am in a relationship which means that I am not allowed to see anyone else. Tonight I am going to go home to an empty apartment and think about how close to death I came today," she said.

"Ziva, you can stay over at my house if you want, that way you won't be alone, if that's what you're worried about," Tony offered.

"I do not need to be babysat Tony," she said.

"I know and I'm not saying you do, I'm saying that if you want company I will be there for you," he said.

She didn't respond that time, she remained quiet: she continued typing at a constant pace and finally saved one last time before hitting print and gathering all the files that were on her desk that had to go in the folder along with her report. She stapled her two page report together and put it in the folder.

Ziva walked around to the front of her desk and went to hit the folder against her desk to get them lined up. In her groggy state she miscalculated where the desk was in comparison to her and the folders slipped out of her hands and on to the floor.

Ziva stared at the fallen files before she knelt on the floor and began trying to work out what went where. Tony came to help her.

"Are you sure you don't want to crash at mine?" he asked once more turning his face to look at her. She turned to look at him when he spoke. Her eyes flickered to his lips before she looked away and stood up with the papers she held and put them on her desk. She sorted through them while Tony placed the papers he held on her desk next to the one's she was sorting.

A few minutes later she said goodnight and left. Tony not wanting draw attention to the fact he was finished, stayed for another fifteen minutes before he stood and left as well.

Ziva arrived at her apartment and turned on the light to her empty apartment. It was too quiet. She walked to her bathroom and turned the taps to her shower on while she stripped down to nothing. She hoped that the hot water would sting lightly at her skin - not enough to burn, but enough to know that it was hot - as it washed away what the day had brought her. She let her mind wonder. She wondered if this is what it would be like if she would continue moving forwards with Ray - coming home to an empty space when all she really needed was to have him comfort her in the subtle ways that he hadn't quite perfected. Only - at the most - two men knew how to do that - to comfort her, be sure to tell her that it was okay in a way so she knew she was being comforted but not in a way to have her smothered with comfort. Ray was too up front. He would continuously be asking if she was okay, hugging and kissing her, making promises that he knew couldn't be kept. Sure it made her feel wanted, but she didn't need to be comforted like that, she needed to be told truth - it was what made her deal with things. Deal with the real thing. Either way, she wanted him there with her.

As she rubbed her shampoo through her long, dark hair she felt the suds fall lightly down her back, it made her relax more. She began thinking about the future. What would happen if one day in their relationship, she was breaking at the seems, what happens then? Who would she go too? What if she didn't want to talk about it with someone other then him? If she was being honest with herself, she knew that what they had wouldn't last much longer if he was away for such long periods of time. She knew what it was like to be away from family and friends with work, but this was her first time experiencing being the person who had to stay behind.

She shut off the water and dried herself with the towel that was hung in her bathroom. Once dried she got into her underwear, loose fitting cotton shorts, and her singlet that she wore to bed before wrapping herself in her dressing gown and walking to the kitchen to make herself toast that she could eat before going to bed. She ate absentmindedly and somehow made her way to her bedroom, turning off the lights to the rest of her apartment as she went - stopping at the bathroom to put her wet hair up so it wouldn't soak her pillow. Once she got to her room, she removed her dressing gown and exposed herself to the chill of the night and quickly turned her light out before getting into her usually inviting bed.

She lied in bed and stared at the ceiling of her dark bedroom. During her past she had dealt with a lot, worse things then what she had faced that day. But it had shaken her. That man - if Gibbs hadn't have shot him - would have killed her with a shot. He had the gun pressed to the left side of her chest; where he was pointing it would have missed her heart, but would have cause her a painful death, they were too far out of the city for rescue crews to get there before she died of blood loss or drowned on her own blood. While that was happening and in the hours afterwards she thought of how much her life had changed. She wasn't ready to let it go - not yet, not when it was just starting to get on the path she wanted it to be on.

She tossed and turned in her bed, tying herself up in the sheet and quilt of her bed, before throwing the covers off her body in frustration and walking to her door grabbing her keys on the way out. She walked to her car in the cold, dark night. She cursed to herself, remembering when she got to her car that she had taken her jacket up to her apartment and not left it in the car as she usually would.

She didn't know where she was going until she got out of her car and was knocking on his door. She suddenly felt stupid showing up in nothing but her pyjamas, unannounced. She knocked once and after a few moments went to turn around, she began walking back down the hall. She heard the door open, "Ziva?" She heard the owner of the apartment say, groggily. She turned back around and looked at him, "Why are you here?" He asked.

"I was wondering if I could still take you up on that offer," She said. He looked at her, she looked mentally weak. She still held herself in the confident facade that she always had but when he looked into her eyes they were filled with sadness and the need to be wanted. She looked into his soft, caring eyes.

"Yeah sure," He said, holding the door wider for her.  
>"I'm not interrupting anything?" she asked as she timidly walked into his home.<p>

"No, I was in bed," Tony replied.

"Sorry," She said.

"Don't worry about it. You know where the spare bed is?" He asked. She nodded, "Want something to drink?"

"Water," she stated as she walked down the hall to the spare bed.

She didn't realise how tired she was until she lied down and closed her eyes. She felt more comfortable here.

She was just starting to drift off when she heard footsteps on the floor to the room she was in. She watched him as he put the glass of water on the bedside table. He turned to look at her again, she had let her defences slip, she looked weak - in more ways than mentally. She looked close to tears. He squeezed her hand that was lying in the bed next to her before turning to walk out.

"Tony..." She seemed unsure of whether to continue. He stopped and turned to face the young Israeli.

"Yes," He said quietly.

"I... I do not want to be alone," she whispered. She didn't look at him as she said it; she felt as if she was loosing some of her pride by admitting it.

She looked up at him when she heard him walk around to the other side of the bed and pull the sheets back, "It's okay to admit that," he stated, moving closer to her, "Just try to sleep Ziva," She moved closer to him, allowing him to comfort her while she lied in his arms. The thing that bothered her was that she didn't feel guilty that she was lying in another man's arms. Tony kissed the top of her head and she looked up at him. She leaned forward until her lips met his, she didn't think about what she was doing until she had done it - she knew it was wrong but she didn't stop it. She needed this type of comfort to remind her that she was still alive. He was shocked at first before he pulled back, "Ziva, what are you doing?" He asked.

She didn't know, she didn't come here looking for this, she didn't know she was coming here until she was at his door, "I don't know," she whispered again, "I swear that is not why I came here," she added looking back up into his eyes so he could tell that she was telling the truth.

She knew she shouldn't be doing this but the desire for her partner was a lot stronger now than it had been in ages, "Please, Tony, I need to know that there is someone out there who would care if I died - who would be here if I died,"

"This is what this is about? Him not being there? If that is the case then leave him Ziva," he replied. Ziva felt the side effects of rejection wash over her, she began to feel emotional. She tried to break free of his hold on her before she fully lost it. His arms only tightened, he kissed her this time, "I would care if you died, and so would a lot of other people," He said, his voice softer as he kissed her again. She felt his hand run down the side of her body and she knew that he wanted her now just as much as she wanted him. The day must have shaken all of them. They needed each other in every way to make sure that they were okay.

She moved so she was straddling his hips. His hands moving up and down her back, around her hips and over her legs. She had her hands to the side of her face. She began kissing down his neck and along his shoulder. She wanted control that night.

He moved his hands to the bottom of her top and slid a bare hand up her back again; he discovered she was wearing no bra. He pulled her back and looked at her questionably.

"It is uncomfortable to sleep in," she shrugged before attacking his lips again. Ziva didn't have to worry about Tony's shirt - he didn't wear one to bed - she sat back up and pulled her top over her head and threw it somewhere else in the room.

He rolled her over so he was hovering above her still kissing her, kissing every part of her body that he could reach. Every time he moved his body against her it earned a light moan from her.

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><p>Present day...<p>

That night they got to know each other better than just partners or friends. They had crossed lines that they were never meant to cross as partners, but that one night of weakness for the both of them had put her in a bad situation. She had to choose - she had to make a choice, had to work out where her feelings with both of them lied. She had quiet a journey in front of her.

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><p><strong>What do you think; should I continue for starters? do you think the rating should be raised? and do you like it?<strong>

**Review Please :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't think I would get the response that I did, and I don't think I've ever seen so many people go trigger happy with the caps lock :P, its all good, any response is good. I hope that this chapter lives up to the same standard.**

**Just a reminder, this is a Tiva story, but they are not actually together... maybe, Yet... So don't hate me too much after reading this chapter. The first chapter was stating the problem and this chapter goes into the actual relationship between the three a bit more.**

**There is no real interaction between Tony and Ziva in this chapter, but there will be in future chapters. I have something planned now, so I have direction which will make it more easier to write. **

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own NCIS**

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><p>In the morning, Ziva woke up and quickly got ready. She had missed her run because she over slept; it was the first full nights sleep that she had in just over a month. She was the first in after Gibbs. Who she could tell was there because of his belongings on his desk. She sat down and began working on the never disappearing pile of paperwork on her desk, although, she should be thankful – it wasn't as high as some of her co-workers paperwork. It wasn't long before everyone else began to arrive.<p>

"Ziva, Ziva," Abby said as she came from the elevator. She stopped in front of her desk, "Ziva, Ziva," she said again.

"Yes, Abby?"

"I have tickets; I got them off a friend. I have two!" She exclaimed excitedly, "It includes dinner at a restaurant too," she added.  
>Ziva looked up at Abby with a smile. They didn't usually enjoy the same type of music, but Ziva did enjoy going out for a night every few months to a concert that might not be her favourite with Abby. Ziva's face fell a little, "What day is it?" She asked.<p>

"Next month, uh, seventeenth," Abby said.

"What's the seventeenth of what?" Tony said walking in.

"Next month, I am going to a concert," Ziva stated.

"Oh, really. With Ray?" Tony asked, jealously heavy in his voice.

"No," Ziva said. He knew the situation; why did he keep asking? She didn't have to check with anyone if it was okay for her to go to a concert. With anyone. Abby looked between the two as they shared a moment. She had to be missing something, Ziva told her a lot of things but the relationship between her partner and herself had been moot lately. The conversation would begin and end in the same sentence.

"She's going with me!" Abby exclaimed. She saw Gibbs, "Got to go," she said hurriedly, walking out.

"Where's she goin' in a hurry?" Tony asked.

"To her lab. She has a high priority case for another team. She's not meant to be up here," Gibbs said, "Grab... Where's McGee?" He said looking around the squad room.

"Don't know," Tony said.

"'Don't know'?" Gibbs asked.

"But we'll try to find him," Tony added. This earned him the full on 'Gibbs glare'. Tony shied away from his boss before picking up his desk phone and adding, "No trying. Got it boss,"

"On the way. Grab your gear, dead marine," he said.

Ziva and Tony quickly grabbed their gear - Tony swapping his desk phone for his mobile - and went to the elevator ringing McGee on his home phone and his mobile phone.

"_McGee_," he greeted.

"Where are you McGee," Tony said.

"_Home, I didn't sleep 'till later then usual,_" he told Tony. Gibbs snatched Tony's phone from him.

"Where the hell are you?" He yelled, "I don't care, get your ass to the crime scene," he said not giving McGee a chance to answer, before telling him the address and hanging up.

"Hate to be McGee," Tony murmured to Ziva.

At the crime scene; McGee was getting the third degree from Gibbs for being late. Tony and Ziva - having both been on the receiving end of _that _conversation with Gibbs at one time or another - half watched and listened while doing their jobs, glad that it wasn't them.

After a few minutes of this Tony turned to Ziva, "Are you coming over tonight?" He asked.

"I cannot, I already have plans," She stated, looking through the camera she held for dodgy photos before moving to take photos of angles she hadn't get yet.

"With CI-Ray," He stated bitterly.

"Yes. He came home last night, I told him I could not see him then because I was busy," She snapped in frustration at his persistence on the topic of Ray and in reaction to his tone.

"You weren't with me," he murmured. Ziva rolled her eyes. Honestly, what had she started?

"Believe it or not, Tony, I do have a life outside the two of you. I needed some time to myself," She said.

In that moment Gibbs walked over to them, "You two finished bickering?" he asked, but before they could answer, "Good, get back to work," he demanded.

For the rest of the time they didn't say anything to each other, but the tension that had been building between them for the past few weeks was thick in the air.

When Ducky walked in to examine the body, he sensed it but acted as if nothing was different. But when Palmer walked in he became awkward and began tripping over their feet and his words in the effort to avoid the two agents' bad book.

The crime scene consisted of one dead unidentified man who looked around his early to late thirties. He was killed by what looked like a gunshot to the chest.

McGee returned and was still getting Gibbs' deadly death glare for being late; he avoided looking at him at all costs - except when he had too.

"The person who called it in said that he didn't hear anything, but when he walked out he saw John Doe trying to breathe. He called the Ambulance which is why the body isn't where it fell," he said.

Gibbs listened to McGee but other than barking at him to talk to the paramedics he went back to ignoring him.

Tony drove on the way back. Ziva was sitting between him and McGee; they were trying their hardest not to touch each other. It was hard to do. Every time he moved the steering wheel his arm would touch hers then she'd move over more slightly, toward McGee. If she didn't he would have hem tempted to ditch her boyfriend that night and stay with her partner. But she needed to keep the part of her life which would help keep some of her sanity.

She had grown up knowing that cheating on someone was and is bad. Her father did it to her mother. Since coming to NCIS she wanted to become less like her father, but now she was committing one of the same sins as him.

She didn't realise that they had arrived until Tony tapped her on the shoulder.

As they began doing their background research into missing people against Ducky's time of death for the victim, Ziva's phone rang.

"David," she said into the phone.

"Hey, you at work?" She heard the familiar voice of Ray say on the other end of the line.

"Yes," she replied carefully, "Why?"

"Are you busy?" He said ignoring her question.

"If you are asking if we have a case; yes," she replied.

"What if I'm not?" He said a slight taunting tone in his voice.

Ziva laughed lightly. She stood from her desk and walked towards the other side of the stair case - which, in the time she had been at NCIS, had always been used for private conversations and personal phone calls. She was using it so she didn't feel Tony's presence as she talked to her committed boyfriend.

"I don't know. Why are you not asking if I have a case? I can't get time off if I do. I will not have a lunch break. I will be lucky to even knock off before ten," she aid in a low, playful voice. Her head was talking - saying what had to be and should be said - but her body was screaming at her: wrong, wrong, wrong.

"Maybe I should come into your work. Perhaps I could convince your boss to have a few hours off," he suggested.

"Hours?" She asked.

"That's not fair Ziva. You never know what will happen," He said, "Are we still on for tonight?"

"We should be," Ziva replied.

"Okay, I will see you then. Bye,"

"Goodbye," She replied. When she heard the dial tone she took a breath and brought the phone from her ear. She felt the guilt flood throughout her. She walked back to her desk avoiding looking at Tony.

"Who was that Zee-Vah?" He asked, "CI-Ray?"

"Yes, is that a problem Tony? Do I need to ask your opinion or for your permission before I talk to my _boyfriend_," She said. She could almost see the daggers he was throwing at her through his eyes. She diverted her eyes away from him.

"What do we have?" Gibbs demanded as he walked into view. They took it in turns telling him what they had found - which wasn't much because they still didn't have an ID on the guy.

Since they had got no where on the case, Gibbs let them knock off earlier than he usually would while they were working a case.

When Ziva arrived home, he was already waiting for her. She smiled when she saw him, "Hello," She said.

"Hi, how was your day?"

"Okay, the case is going no where. The guy doesn't have a name. It is taking Abby forever to run his DNA through the database," She said.

Ray wrapped an arm around her waist as she unlocked her door, "What's on the menu?" He asked.

"Take away. I cannot be bothered cooking now," She stated.

"Okay, I will order while you get changed?" He suggested.

"Sounds good," She stated as she walked down her hall to her room.

When she returned Ray was sitting on her lounge watching TV, she sat down next to him.

"Are you okay? You look stressed," He told her, kissing the side of her face.

She gave him a half hearted smile, "Yeah, I am fine," she said.

"Really?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes. How was your day?" She asked.

"Good, just had paperwork to file. Nothing interesting," He said.

"You see at Mossad we used to have people who did that for us," She stated smartly.

"Really?"

"Okay, that is a lie, but unlike you, I would not wait until last minute to file everything," she said.

"Mmm, sure you did,"

"My father would punish me if I did not," She said.

"How?"

"When I first joined when I was living with him; if I did not file my paper work when it needed to be filed, I had to do his too. That is why if you go to my desk at work, look at my desk, and compare it to Tony's; mine is empty," She answered.

There was a knock at the door, "I will get it," Ziva said. She opened the door and was faced with the delivery guy, "Thank you," She murmured after giving him the money and his tip.

She closed the door and returned to the lounge where Ray had begun moving things from the coffee table in front of them to make way for the food.

They ate in a peaceful silence, but it felt awkward to Ziva. She didn't understand why she hadn't felt all that guilty until now. She didn't understand herself anymore – her thoughts or feelings. She didn't understand because in the two months that she and Tony had been sleeping together, this wasn't the first time that Ray had been home. He was there more times than he was away lately; he was just away for longer periods of time.

"I have to go away again next week," He told her once they had finished eating. They were in the two seated lounge. She was leaning into his side with her eyes closed, trying to forget what she had been doing behind his back, and he had his arm around her - clueless.

She breathed in deeply and slowly before opening her eyes and answering, "How long?"

"About two weeks, it depends on what happens," he replied.

"Why do you have to go away?" She asked like a small child.

"Well, you could take that up with my boss. You can be very persuasive when you want. Maybe you can convince him to let me stay and finish my paperwork," he said adjusting their position so he could see her.

"What would I get out of that?" She asked playfully.

"Me," He stated.

"And if I do not want you?" She asked in the same light tone.

"I'm hurt Ziva," He said mocking hurt as he lent in and kissed her, "You don't want me?" He whispered, before kissing her neck. She tilted her head back - allowing him all the access he needed.

"I want you," She stated. When he lifted his lips from her neck, she brought her head so it was straight again and looked at him before she kissed him. Everything she was thinking about earlier forgotten as he pushed her backwards on to her lounge.

She began feeling his back through his top and bringing herself closer to him - her desire taking over...

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><p>Tony walked into his empty apartment alone after he was allowed to leave work. If CI-Ray wasn't in town, Ziva probably wouldn't have been too far behind him.<p>

He walked to his fridge and grabbed the other night's left over pizza and put it in the microwave to heat up while he got changed.

He knew there would have to have been a better way to deal with the thoughts that he was having of Ziva in _his_ arms. He got into something more comfortable and walked back to the kitchen where his left over pizza was almost finished reheating. He watched the green numbers on the timer count down to one.

If this were three months ago, before they had slept together he would have gone to the bar down the road from where he lived at the thoughts of her with another man. The annoying buzzer of the microwave went off and he pressed the button to open the door. But before he pulled the plate from it he paused.

If she was allowed to sleep with another man; why couldn't he sleep with other woman? If it she was anyone else and he didn't see her everyday he would have only slept with her once – or at the most twice – why is it any different? They hadn't really made any rules, they just did it,

He knew the answers to these questions but didn't admit anything to himself. She wasn't just another woman. She was his partner, his friend – it didn't seem right to sleep with someone else. But if she was going to; so was he.

Maybe next time they were together they would have to discuss what their rules would be in regard to it.

He closed the microwave's door and returned to his room; changing out of his trackies into his jeans and a neat causal button up top, before grabbing his keys, phone, and wallet and leaving his house.

It didn't take him long to walk to the bar. He sat a little way away from the bartender who asked him what he wanted to drink, Tony ordered a beer.

After another drink, he began to loosen up; he walked over to a blonde girl and began talking to her – using his pick-up lines to impress her. After about an hour and a few more drinks of stronger alcohol, she was accompanying him home. Stumbling and giggling as she walked due to her more drunken state.

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><p><strong>I know that this isn't probably the kind of chapter you wanted to read, but it is a story talking about her cheating - so it's not going to be all about Tony and Ziva.<strong>

**Reviews Please :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I'm not too sure I am completely happy with this chapter... But that happens to everyone, and as I said in the first chapter, this is nothing like what I usually write, so its a tad bit trickier and I feel as if I repeated myself a few times, but that could also be because I sat down and wrote it all at once instead of over about two days or more.**

**I have a beta reader profile and would be happy to beta read anyones work if they want me to help... I have never been a beta reader so I have no idea how it works but am williing to learn :D**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

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><p>When Tony walked into work the next day; he knew he was late like McGee was the day before. Gibbs stared him down and Ziva was avoiding eye contact with him. He knew she felt guilty, but now so did he.<p>

Gibbs walked out and McGee was no where to be seen; he was with Abby working on the evidence. This left Ziva and Tony alone in the squad room.

"How was your night?" She asked after a while.  
>"The usual," he stated.<br>"No it was not," she replied.  
>"Yeah, I went to that bar down from my house and I was late this morning because I had to drop her off at he bar and we got up late," he said, "How was your night, Zee-vah?"<p>

"Good. We had take-away and watched some TV," She said.

"That's all?" He asked.

"No, we also did some... Well, I think you know," She replied.

"When does he leave again?" Tony asked.

"Next week,"

"How long?"

"He said two weeks, depending on what happens," Ziva replied as Abby came racing into the squad room, McGee in tow.

"We know who he is," She stated, "Where's Gibbs?"

"Pissed at Tony for being late so he left," Ziva smartly replied, full well knowing that probably wasn't the real reason.

"The guy is Captain Nicholas Edwards. He went missing off base three weeks ago," Abby said.

"This is a step in the right direction," Tony said, "McGee you're with me. We have to see Edwards' family and friends. See if they might know what happened,"

"I can't, Gibbs told me to help Abby," McGee said.

"Fine. David; with me," He said.

Ziva picked up her bag and followed Tony to the elevator; the silence that filled the elevator was tense, filled with the words that were yet to be said. It happened every time Ray was in town. When he wasn't it was as if he didn't even exist. Tony watched as the floors counted down. When it got close to the ground floor he hit the emergency switch. Ziva just stared at him. No emotion in her gaze; but she also had no walls or defences up.

"Yes?" She asked.

"We need to get some things established Ziva," he stated.

"Like what?" She asked.

"We have been doing this for two months. I am confused as to where I stand," He said.

"It should not be any different than anyone of your other dates, Tony, just we do it more than once," Ziva stated as if it was that simple. Silence surrounded them, it was fine. He knew that as long as Ziva was in a _relationship_ it wouldn't be anymore than sex, but for some reason, considering his past, it felt wrong to sleep with another person, but she seemed to have no trouble with it. He tried reading her; she stared back, doing the same to him.

"Have you got plans tonight?" He asked.

"No," She replied.

"My house?" He asked, "I'll cook?"

"Sure," She agreed. Every time she would come into work following a night with Ray, Tony would pull her away from the group and talk to her. It was always different. Asking who was better, who she could have better conversations with, what she saw in him, what she saw in Ray. She wouldn't always tell the truth. But it was different this time; he had never brought something up like what he did. She knew the metaphorical timer was ticking down to when something would give. One relationship was going to end. Part of her wanted it to be the relationship with Ray; the other part wanted it to be the relationship with Tony.

He would always ask if she had plans and try to out do Ray. It was all a competition, who could make her scream the loudest. But it wasn't a fair competition; Ray didn't know he was competing.

"I'll bring wine?" She asked.

"Yep," He said flicking the switch and the elevator jumped to life again.

The car trip to the Edwards' residence was fairly quick - they didn't live too far off of base. Ziva knocked on the door, "NCIS; Special Agent David, DiNozzo," She said once the door was opened and indicating herself and Tony as she said their names, "We need to ask you a few questions about Captain Edwards," She continued.

"Can we come in?" Tony added.

"Yes," Answered the man standing at the door holding the door open for the two Agents.

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><p>When they arrived back to the squad room Gibbs was getting briefed by McGee on what they had. He asked for what they had discovered while they were interviewing Edwards family. They now knew that he was a father of two and married twice. Children from the second and current marriage. Much to Tony's dislike, the wife didn't have motive so he was settling for the ex-wife or Edwards' lover.<p>

They were allowed to go home at around 9:30. Tony had put a pre-made frozen dinner that he bought from the shops in his oven. Ziva wasn't a big fan of them, but he had nothing else in his house to eat - he hadn't been shopping in a while.

It took ten minutes after he got home to hear the timed knocks that only one person in the world ever did - who times their knocks? - And walked to the door and was faced with a smiling Ziva.

"Hello," he said, admiring the Israeli standing in front of him.

"Hello," Ziva replied as she walked past him, "Pre-prepared dinner again Tony?" She questioned.

"Sorry, I have been fairly busy," He stated walking up to her and kissing her gently.

"Is that right?" She asked quietly against his lips.

"Mm hm," he replied. He went to kiss her again and she moved away from him. He looked at her in surprise, "What are you doing?" He asked.

"I am getting us a drink," She smiled slyly.

"And if I don't want a drink?"

"I do," She replied.

Once poured the drinks she walked past him, handing him one glass as she walked in the direction of his movie cupboard. As she walked she added more of a sway to her hips - just to tease him. She could feel him staring. The flirtatious teasing was something that she only did with Tony. There was more satisfaction from the reaction she could draw from him.

When she first started dating Ray she did it subconsciously, like she did whenever she was in a new relationship, to see how he would react. She knew there was a reaction, but it was nothing compared to the reaction she could get from Tony.

"What movie do you want to watch?" She asked. She heard him clear his voice and she smiled to herself.

"Whatever one you want," He replied, returning to his kitchen to check on dinner. When he was about to turn back around he felt Ziva's hot breath against the skin of his neck as she breathed in and out through her mouth, "Are you looking for something Ms. David?" He asked, turning around.

As soon as he did, her lips come in contacted with his, "I'm taking it that we're passing on the movie?" He asked pulling back a bit.

"Not a chance," She smiled, "Dinner first. I am hungry," she stated.

"Okay, can we talk after dinner?" He asked.

"How about now. By the looks of that it will not be ready for ages,"

"You gonna keep me hanging that long?" He asked.

"Maybe. What is it you want to talk about?" She asked.

"About what we are doing," Tony stated, taking her hand and leading her to the lounge. Ziva sighed; she didn't want to have this conversation.

"I have a question," He stated.

"Yes?" Ziva replied.

"If you are allowed to continue to see Ray, does that mean I am still allowed to sleep with other women?" He asked.

Ziva wanted to scream no. He was with her. She knew this was wrong though, he wasn't with her. They were just sleeping together. It's not as if she had never had a relationship where it was just sex, because she had. Why was this any different? Why was she feeling jealous when she had no right to be?

"Yes," She said through clenched teeth, but he didn't notice. She had the feeling to prove to him then and there why he shouldn't though, why he should continue to sleep with just her and no one else, make sure that she is better than the women that he doesn't know the names of most times.

"Anything else?" She asked.

"Not yet, maybe later," He said as he pulled her onto his lap and she straddled his legs kissing him passionately. In the back of Ziva's mind she wondered why when she was with Tony it was much more passionate than when she was with Ray.

They both jumped at the sound of the buzzer from the oven. Ziva removed herself from his lap and he stood to go to the kitchen, retrieving their dinner as Ziva put the movie in.

It didn't always happen like that. Sometimes they would get straight into it and other times they would prologue the moment, with wine, dinner, movies and foreplay. It really depended on the day. They both wanted to prove something to each other that night, they wanted to drag it out and prove that they were better then whoever the other might have slept with the night before. Build up the anticipation for what was to come.

They ate in silence, the silence much more relaxed to Ziva than the previous night with Ray. They stared at each other why they ate, smiling and looking back down when they were caught. The movie played in the background the only thing supplying noise. They were enjoying each others company like they used to. The unsaid words lingering in the air. But unlike earlier that day, the unsaid words were that of friendship and care along with a deeper meaning than on the surface compared to the ones of hatred and jealously earlier.

Soon they had finished eating and she was lying with her feet in Tony's lap watching the characters flicker across the screen of the TV as the light from the TV illuminated the dark room with a million colours as the camera angles changed. Tony was slowly and softly rubbing the bottom of her feet. She briefly wondered why she had never felt this comfortable with Ray and why he had never done that to her.

Briefly, she could shake the thought of her boyfriend and be completely in the moment with Tony - she felt no guilt.

As the movie finished, they sat there for a minute watching the credits roll up the screen. Tony turned to Ziva and studied her in the light of the TV. She had left her long, dark hair down. It was sitting straight as it fell past her jaw line and shoulders. She had straightened it for work, though he had no idea why - he though it looked better when it was curly. He looked at her flawless face; it was slightly pinched in what looked to be light concern or stress. Not enough was written on her face to make him worry though. Her usually golden skin looked darker in the light that was surrounding them.

"You are staring," she stated.

"I like what I am seeing," He justified.

"Is that right?" She replied as she turned her head to look at him. His green eyes bore into her brown ones reading her every thought as she thought them - whether he could understand them all was a different question.

She sat up and brought her legs back to herself. Tony moved so he was sitting in front of her before staring at her again. Ziva could see a plan forming in his head. She eyed his suspiciously, "What are you planning?"

Tony stood up from his position and grabbed his and Ziva's plates and disappeared into the kitchen. Ziva sat there confused. That's not what she could see forming behind his eyes.

When he didn't return for a few minutes; the confused Ziva stood and wondered into the kitchen. She walked through the arch way that lead to the dining room then to turned into the door way into the kitchen.

"Tony?" She called. As soon as she walked far enough into the door the door shut and Ziva was pressed against a near by wall as she turned to see what had happened - taken off guard and unarmed, she let out a small yelp of surprise as Tony pressed his lips against her's.

"That was not nice DiNozzo," She stated, breaking to talk.

"It was fun though," He replied as he re-opened the door and walked towards his bedroom - Ziva walking backwards as she began to unbutton his top.

After a minute - and after his shirt was removed - she felt her legs hit the end of his bed. She sat down and pulled him to her as she moved further up the bed, his hands making their way up her shirt before removing it completely, leaving her in her pants and plain black bra. It wasn't long before Tony removed her bra along with the rest of her clothes and his...

Tony had fallen asleep ages ago. Ziva lied against him - awake - thinking about the difference between the two men. More to the point - why she kept coming back to Tony.

It was strange to her because while she was with Tony, she felt no guilt. There was something about him that made her forget Ray. But while she was with Ray, all she could think about was Tony and all she felt was guilt and betrayal to Tony. It almost felt like she was cheating on Tony and not on Ray.

She had no right to feel that.

There was a thrill every time she would give these types of visits to Tony, a thrill of being caught - breaking the rules. She may have respect and loyalty, but she was rebellious at heart. It made everything much more exciting when she was told she couldn't do something.

She groaned lightly and turned so her back was to the softly snoring Tony. When did everything become backwards. How did she manage to get her life so complicated? It was all her fault.

She felt Tony move behind her, he moved closer to her back and wrapped an arm around her waist, placing a kiss just behind her ear, "What are you thinking about?" He groggily asked.

"Nothing," Ziva replied, her voice sounding clear as day due to her not sleeping yet.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked again, his breath hot against her ear.

"Life," Was all she replied before turning around to face him and pressing her naked form against his and her lips against his...

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><p><strong>I'm not completely happy with it. <strong>

**I have a vague idea of where this could head, but I would like to know what you would like to read... There is no point in me writing if you are not enjoying my ideas :P. So if you have any ideas, feel free to leave it in a review or drop me a PM and I will see if I can work it in.**

**Please Review :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the wait. I had a bit of writer's block and this is more of a filler. I am not very happy with it. **

**This was never planned to be a long story and only has a few more chapters to go. **

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

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><p>Ziva woke up the next morning and was faced with an empty bed. She was still in Tony's bedroom, just he wasn't there. She stood from the bed and walked to the kitchen where Tony was seated.<p>

"Good morning," She greeted.

"'Morning," he replied, "Um, can we pick the conversation up from last night?" he asked.

"The one where you wanted to ask if you could sleep with others?" She asked as she put toast in the toaster, "okay,"

"Does Ray know about us?" He asked.

Ziva avoided his scrutinizing stare, "No," she quietly replied.

"Are you going to tell him?" He asked.

"Why is that your concern?" She asked.

He looked at her for a moment, studying her before sighing, "It's not I guess," he answered. She came around and dragged a chair next to him.

She didn't say anything, but she looked like she wanted too, when she spoke it wasn't the words she wanted to say, "We need to get ready for work," She whispered. He nodded and stood as Ziva went back to the toaster to butter her toast to eat.

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><p>Once they arrived to work they began digging around in missing person's files and looking for any time frame that the Captain could have gone missing.<p>

After an hour Ziva's desk phone rang. This left her no escape from the person across the small walkway from her as she answered the phone and began talking to her boyfriend.

"Ziva. I have been called in early. Meaning that I'm leaving earlier than I intended and that I will be gone for longer," he informed her. Was it wrong for her heart to skip a beat at this, and be thankful that he boyfriend was leaving for 'longer than intended'?

"Important?" she asked.

"Yeah, emergency. I have to fill in for some idiot that got sick," she could almost hear him roll his eyes.

"When will you be back then?" She asked.

"Not for at least a month," he replied, "I have to go. I will call you soon," he said as he hung up.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"Nothing. Just found out that I'm free for at least a month,"

"Really...?" Tony said, clearly letting his mind wonder.

It wasn't long before they were told to leave. They had tracked down the captain's family. They were visiting family interstate and were arriving the next day. They couldn't do any more until the next day.

Ziva followed Tony to his apartment and as soon as he shut the door his lips were on Ziva.

* * *

><p>Afterwards, Tony was lying under his bed covers with Ziva next to him. He could feel her foot on his lower leg.<p>

"I can't keep doing this Ziva," he stated.

She turned to look at him; she didn't get a chance to talk before he was, "With you I have always known where I stand. Partner, friend, nothing, but I don't now Ziva and I hate this feeling. I enjoy being with you, but I can't be the 'other man' for much longer Ziva," he said.

He heard Ziva sigh, "I will deal with it when he gets back Tony," she said.

"No you won't," he replied, "You need to make a decision before he gets back, or I will make it for you. It's been two months. And to be honest I don't want to share you," he said the last sentence quietly. So quiet Ziva though she had misheard. But she knew she didn't.

She stood from her place on the bed and gathered her clothes from around the room and redressed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Making my decision," she replied and she fixed her bra and threw her shirt over her head.

He wasn't quick enough to catch her before she left his apartment.

Ziva walked to her car, thinking. She had to choose she knew this had been coming. But now she had to make the decision before he got back.

She sat in her car and paused for a moment before hitting the steering wheel in frustration, so hard it hurt the palm of her hand. She turned on her car and looked at the clock on the dashboard. It had the time illuminated in green. Two in the morning. She had work the next day. She had to interview someone's wife. She knew that she could be bitchy when she was tired.

She turned on her car and began driving; she had no particular destination until she found herself driving down a familiar road as she came to a stop in front of her boss' house.

This was stupid. He wouldn't be awake. This was something that she needed to do by herself. It was her decision to make. But still she stepped out of her car and made her way down the drive way, opening the unlocked door and heading straight for the stairs that took her to his basement.

She was surprised to see that he was still up. She hesitated at the top of the stairs, what would he say when he found out that she had been sleeping with his senior field agent while dating someone else. He would be disappointed in her, wouldn't he? Yes.

Before she could turn around and turn back she heard his voice sound from the basement, "What do ya need Ziver?"

She slowly took the stairs down until she hit the concrete floor. She hesitantly took the few more steps forward until she waste reached a seat that looked to be left there from another visitor.

"Expecting someone?" She asked.

"No. But whatever your here for must be important if you're here at two," he said.

"I have screwed up Gibbs. Big time. I do not know how to get out of it," she began.

"What did you do?"

"Two months ago I started sleeping with someone other than Ray. Ray does not know. But I find it strange that I only feel guilty when I am with Ray, but not when I am with... This other person. He told me I had to choose. I know I do, but I don't know how. How am I meant to choose between my boyfriend and a person that I am beginning care about more than just a friend?"

"Do you love him?" Gibbs asked.

"Who?"

"Ray?"

"I want to say I do but I get the feeling of guilt and it makes something shift uncomfortably inside of me Gibbs,"

"There has to be a reason that you as seeking the same thing from two people. What is wrong with him?"

Ziva sighed, "He is never here. I need someone who is here for more than half a year," She said.

"Then that should make your decision easy,"

"Gibbs. I am here to be yelled at. What I have done is disrespectful in any religion, any country. I have committed adultery," She said pleading, "I deserve anything that happens. I don't deserve either of them. Do you not have an opinion on this? Are you not disappointed?" she said.

"What would you like me to do Ziva, arrest you?" he asked, "I am disappointed in you; this is something I would expect from Tony. But you are doing a good enough job beating yourself up. I don't need to help," he said.

Ziva turned around and left after saying goodbye. She went there for advice and got it, she also went there to be yelled at. He didn't do that. He said all he needed to calmly. It made Ziva feel worse. She slowly made her way back home.

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><p><strong>Review Please :D<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I know I said there was another two chapters; but I have changed my mind. This is shorter because it is the epilouge. I changed my mind because I have another story I want to publish and I was closest to finishing this, and there is no way that I would be able to handle seven stories at once... I can barely handle six.**

**I think its a pretty weak ending but I couldn't think of any other way to end it. **

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

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><p>Ziva hadn't slept with anyone since Tony told her to make her decision. She needed time. All she did was think, go to work, and come home.<p>

Ziva had done nothing special for Ray's return. She had made her decision and now she had to tell him. She couldn't hold on to the false hopes that were being promised, the long times away with little or no communication.

When he walked into her apartment she told him that they needed to talk. She could tell from the look on his face that he knew what was coming.

She explained about the way she felt toward him being gone for long periods of time and that it wasn't permanent which was something she was beginning to crave in her life, she couldn't stay with someone who wasn't going to be there. It would end up seeming as if she was in a part time relationship. Then she began talking about her greatest mistake through all of their relationship.

To her surprise; he looked unsurprised. He sighed before saying that he had known something was wrong and that he wasn't surprised that she had turned to Tony to look for what she didn't have when he was away. Before he left, he turned to her and said, "I don't know why I kept holding on. Your heart had always belonged to someone else,"

She spent that night alone. She had to tell Tony now that she had made her decision, but the ball would remain in his court. As wrong as cheating on Ray was, it didn't feel right going to his house and sleeping with him.

She was lucky it was a weekend; tomorrow was Saturday. She was going to spend the rest of Friday night alone, then go to Tony's house at a reasonable hour the next day.

* * *

><p>The next day at around five she knocked on Tony's door. He answered it rather cheerfully and invited Ziva inside. She didn't walk straight to the lounge; instead she walked to the table and Tony sat down across from her.<p>

He offered her a drink and she accepted and they spoke of trivial things until she said, "I told him," She stated, "Everything. From a few reasons why, then about you,"

"How did he take it?" He asked.

"Well. To well for my liking. He said that he was unsurprised that I turned to you and he knew something was up," Ziva said.

"So that means you've made your decision?" He asked.

"Yes. I think that we should leave it a few months before doing anything. It is not fair on you or him. After a few months you can decide what you want to do. Whatever you choose; I will not argue against your choice," She said.

He nodded understanding what she was saying.

By this time it was nearing six-thirty. She stood to leave, she said goodbye and walked to the door. She had her hand on the doorknob when she was spoken to next, "Ziva, do you want to stay for a movie? Just as friends. I was going to start one before you came," He asked.

She thought about it for a minute. Just as friends. Just a movie. She nodded as she turned to face him and walked to the lounge.

* * *

><p>Around a year after she had broken up with Ray, Tony and Ziva started things over again. Properly. No one else in the picture.<p>

They enjoyed each others company when they knew the other wasn't going to leave the next day to go to someone else.

And Tony got his wish; he no longer had to share.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. I'm sorry for the delays in the updates and all. I will be posting the story I was talking about before after I find a title if you're interested. Also feel free to have a look at my other stories :)<strong>

**Review Please :D**


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